Mother's Day is Painful for Me
Mother's Day is one of those celebrations that I could do without, until this week. My own mother abandoned me when my narcissistic father demanded she make a choice between us. For the longest time, I saw her as a victim of her circumstances until I realized she could have made a different choice. And, her choice leads me to the other reason Mother's Day is painful for me.
I am childless.
Ever since I was a little girl, I have longed to be a mother. I have dreamed of my children. I have believed I was created for motherhood. And, yet, the years continue to pass and no husband appears and no children follow.
Many of you are in a similar boat. You too stand at the rack of Mother's Day cards with anger and frustration, tears threatening to burst forth. You too watch other women showered with love and gifts that don't fully appreciate their privilege of motherhood. You too mourn the motherhood you long to engage in, but seems to keep escaping your dream and plans.
I am hear to tell you, "ENOUGH! TODAY WE CELEBRATE ALL WOMEN FOR ALL THE NURTURING AND MOTHERING THEY DO, NO MATTER IF YOU GAVE BIRTH/ADOPTED OR NOT, NO MATTER IF YOUR MOTHER IS IN YOUR LIFE OR NOT." Every woman is a mother, a nurturer, a warrior, a hero, and a love-bringer. You matter! You deserve recognition too, however, more importantly, you belong to a possibility for revolution that I am inviting you into.
I must confess. Glennon started this! Glennon Doyle Melton posted a proclamation earlier this week the she was taking back Mother's Day and I can't stop being inspired. Click to read her post.
This is what left me flabbergasted: Mother's Day was NEVER about celebrating moms!!! What?!!! How have we moved so far from the original Mother's Day purpose? Check out what the original Mother's Day Proclamation from Julia Ward Howe actually states:
Arise, then, women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts,
Whether our baptism be of water or of tears!
“We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”
From the bosom of the devastated Earth a voice goes up with our own.
It says: “Disarm! Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.”
Blood does not wipe out dishonor, nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace,
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God.
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And at the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.
This means Mother's Day is for EVERY WOMAN! Women, let us rise! Let us rise to the challenge issued in Julia Ward Howe's proclamation. Let us rise to be peacemakers as we move throughout our days. Let us rise in how we lavish love on those around us. Let us rise in how we nurture the little ones in our lives. Let us rise with our voices united demanding love and peace become the norm for our world, banishing fear and violence. Let us rise by contributing our resources, financial and time, to causes that promote compassion, peace, and unity.
Let us rise above the fear that we are not enough because we are not loved well by our own mothers and/or because we haven't been given the formal privilege of mothering. We are enough because we have love, nurture, vision, and hope in our hearts.