It has been a rough week. Intensely emotional. Very challenging on the kid-raising front. Struggling with feeling overwhelmed so then I do nothing because I can’t figure out how to choose one thing. I am sure this is very familiar to many of you, right? Rough weeks, months, even years happen and we have a choice to make when they do.
Earlier this week, when I found myself screaming like an insane woman at the boys for what seemed like the billioneth time in 3 days, I realized I was not embracing my power of choice. In fact, I had relinquished all personal power to my emotions and circumstances.
You would think this realization launched me into positive change and powerful choices. NOPE! It landed me in shame instead. Oh, that little shame monster in my head was taunting me!
“You should know better.”
“You are the adult. You should set the example.”
“A life coach should have this mastered.”
I was wrapped up in feeling defective and that only added to the problem.
On Wednesday, I had a couple hours to myself while the boys golfed, so I turned on my podcasts and started cleaning like the mad woman I felt like. Between the satisfaction of seeing dirt disappear and sparkling surfaces appear, as well as the inspiring words I was listening to, I slowly began to feel a sense of calm and control return to my mind and heart.
Then the boys returned with their ears disconnected from their brains and I became the screeching nanny once again.
BUT, this time I made a different choice!
I told the shame monster in my head to shut up and I told myself the truth.
The truth was when children repeatedly don’t listen, it is frustrating.
The truth was I was in the midst of a very challenging week, emotionally, mentally, and I was physically exhausted.
The truth was I am a complex human being who is on a journey that includes both the ups and the downs of circumstances and my emotions.
I took some time to breathe and then put my arms around the boys. I confessed I had lost my cool and apologized and told them I was making a choice to be more calm and present for the rest of the day and then…THIS IS KEY!...I asked them if they wanted to make a different choice as well.
I am not blaming the boys for my behavior. However, we rarely lose it in a vacuum. There are other people and circumstances present. One of the truths was when children repeatedly don’t listen, it is frustrating.
The boys did have a choice they wanted to make. They told me they had spent the calm down time rewiring their ears to their brains! I guess they are listening when I ask if their ears and brains have become disconnected!!!
Remember, you are complex and in process. You are not shameful. You are a gorgeous human being who is ever-evolving. When you are overwhelmed and are having a rough day, week. month, or year, extend yourself grace and compassion and remember, you always have a choice. Choose to honor your process and make a shift towards the positive.