A New Reality, Step 1: Get Real
Disclaimer: When I talk about creating a new reality, I am referring to how you see the world and how you show up in the world. Our reality will still have challenges, difficult moments of relating to others, and hurting people diverting our energy. Creating a new reality is all about HOW and CHOICE that you do, not creating expectations for others.
With that said, let's answer an all important question. How does one go about creating a new reality? It isn't easy, and it is so worth the effort! I have found to create a new reality for yourself requires three essential elements. One, get real about your current reality. Two, change starts with where you are expending the most negative energy. Three, it takes lots and lots of practice. First, let's get real.
Creating a new reality requires getting real about the current reality. That may sound backwards because wouldn't you already know your current reality? Not necessarily.
Many of us are not fully aware of our current reality because it is our normal. Even if it could be better. Even if it is damaging us and our relationships. Even if our current reality is getting us nowhere, it is still our normal. It is comfortable. It sort of works for our current mindset and outlook on life. For that reason, we aren't always clear on our current reality.
The current reality may also be overwhelming. We can be overwhelmed with something and still be unfamiliar with it. To change a current reality requires cutting through the overwhelm and getting clear about how we are actually functioning and surviving or thriving in our every day life. Clarity is powerful because it narrows and defines exactly what needs to change for a new reality to break through.
Simply the idea of getting real about our current reality can bring on fear and overwhelm anticipating that what we become aware of we might not enjoy facing. It is an easier process than we think. Once we realize fear wants to keep us from knowing, it becomes a three step process towards awareness.
1. Investigate. Get curious. Step outside yourself and become an observer of your own life. Notice what patterns are damaging or disempowering. Notice what feelings arise around certain people or situations. Observe for as long as it takes for you to be comfortable with where you are at, embracing that place with compassion.
2. Ask trusted voices for their insights. Trusted voices don't necessarily say what you want to hear. Trusted voices have earned the right to speak truth into your life. Some of what they might say will be difficult, but it will always be for your growth and transformation. Consider asking those trusted voices what they believe is working well in your life, what they believe you could do without, and any damaging patterns they have observed. Listen and be grateful taking their insights with you into the third step.
3. Make a list of what IS and IS NOT working. Take your observations and the insights you received with gratitude from trusted voices and make two lists. Be brutally honest with yourself. This is for your eyes only. The more honest you are with yourself, the more energy you will have towards the transformation process. As much as possible, stick to a list format as that supports your logical brain in wrapping itself around the emotions keeping the emotions from dominating this process.
Work on your observations and lists for at least one week. New insights will pop into your awareness at the least expected times. Pay attention to what comes into your awareness. Stay open when it gets uncomfortable. Next week we will dive into step two in creating a new reality.